This... Is my last chance.

So, finally.. it has come to my attention that I really need friends.

I mean.. I have friends, but I need friends for me. Like... My friends like me, they think I'm funny.. but they don't understand my hobbies.

My old roommate Lauren once said, "I like hanging out with you. You're interesting." Implying that my unique-personality perplexed her and she wanted to know more about the enigma that is Laurie.

My hobbies include; Video Games, My Chemical Romance, manga/anime, drawing, & foreign languages.

Most of my friends; Only really play games I don't really get into (I like Japanese RPGs, Survival Horror, & whatever the hell Katamari Damacy would fall under), know that MCR sings Helena which I sang at the Talent Show my senior year of high school, have no idea what manga means & think anime is for little kids, like my drawings because they can't draw, and only know spanish & german (neither of which are my focus languages... I'm more of Japanese/Russian person.)

That being said.. UTC is my final chance at finding some friends. I recently found out that there is a group that is trying to start an anime club at UTC.. so I will definitely try and find them.

"But Laurie.. you're so social online?" I am social online, because I can be myself without caring about being judged. However, in real life.. I hide in the shadows to be off of radar. I'm afraid of being ridiculed.

I used to have a couple of friends who liked what I did. But people change over time.. and in my case.. sometimes people change into the monsters of my nightmares.

The inner nerd in me is crying out.

Do you know badly I want to Cosplay and go to a convention?! YOU HAVE NO IDEA! I haven't been to a Con since 2004. 2004!!! AWA. I dressed as Sango from InuYasha. I had so much fun. I don't think I have ever been so happy (Well, besides MCR concerts, that is!). The fondest memory of that day was walking through the dealer room and having a girl dressed as a cat walk up to me and ask me to bear her children. LOL! Also, there's when my friend at the time, dressed as Haruko from Furi Kuri (FLCL/Fooly Cooly), stopped a guy dressed as Miroku and yelled, "DON'T YOU TOUCH HER BUM! I'M WATCHING YOU MIROKU!" And when I ran up to a girl dressed as Duo Maxwell and said, "I LOVE YOU DUO!"

It just sucks that I don't have anyone like that anymore.

That's why I have to do this. I have to find some friends.

Only problem is.. I need to find the rare breed. I remember now that, in most cases, people who like anime/manga... usually don't do what I do. (As far as my habits of smoking & drinking.)

I suppose I could hide my habits until I am comfortable with talking about them.

I just want someone to be nerdy with. I'm tired of people looking at me and saying.. "What is that?!" "Oh, that's cool.. I guess."

I want someone to say, "THAT IS SO COOL!" "AWESOME!" and sincerely mean it.

xx L.